At this point I had been active online and had made a lot of friends in my new community (LGBTQ+). One of these connections was Jaime, another trans woman. She invited me to be her roommate in order for me to get out of the situation I was in. Back in the Honda again.

Killeen

I arrived in Texas on a late summer evening. It was hot and I was very tired. Jaime helped me inside and I crashed down onto her bed. I awoke the next morning to find her gone and a note on the table. She had written, “You looked too cute to disturb, so I slept on the couch. See ya tonight, beautiful. – J-Me”.

We had a quick and very physical romance. However, it would end as fast as it had began. Once we really started talking to each other; I began realizing we could never be together. She believed the Earth is flat and that some races of human beings, should be held to different standards. I packed and left that day.

I had made a good friend and she offered her couch. Kim is easily one of my best friends. While we do not talk nearly as often as we used to, I am positive that whenever we do, it will always be like almost no time has passed. She saved my life in many ways. I can never thank her enough. I made many good memories with her, her family, and her friends.

By this time, I was on Hormone Replacement Therapy full time. I was beginning to look different and I was loving it. I was getting more attention from suitors than I ever had in the past. It was intoxicating. And it would prove dangerous for me.

The Trap

I had been working for sometime as an escort and had a few regular clients. One of them was an older gentleman, who was always very kind and very easy to please. I remember him having the cleanest place I had ever seen, even from my time in the military. What really made him stand out however, was his sweetness and willingness to help me. I told him I could never be tied down again and he agreed with me.

I moved in with Doe a few days later. He had a small apartment filled with odds and ends. It was all very tidy and well placed, but it was cramped. We had agreed that I would serve as his housewife and we would be allowed to have other relationships, so long as we informed everyone involved beforehand. I explained it to him as Ethical Non-Monogamy.

Doe was very easy to please, emotionally and physically. He just wanted company in his later years. Someone to talk to when he got home from work. Someone to rub his back and tell him what a man he was. Doe was not a very sexual man. In fact, in the 3 years we spent together, we had sex twice.

After the first 6 months in the apartment with Doe, we moved in to a small duplex. It had more room and it was very cozy. I had everything I needed. I didn’t even notice the emotional and verbal abuse at first. I didn’t even notice this man that was supporting me, was also chipping away at me each and every day.

The Trump Problem

As Donald Trump has been more flagrantly racist and authoritative, Doe would be increasingly outspoken in support of him. I would have nightly arguments with him about how Donald Trump was tearing away at LGBTQ, Religious, and Immigration rights at record speeds. He would laugh and tell homophobic or transphobic jokes and walk away. The next day he would buy me a new game or bring home some really good food. I would forget about the night before.

I told him that he would have to decide between Trump and Me. He said that he would choose Trump any day. I packed some bags and fled to a friend’s house. After making it through his body block, I tore down the road, leaving him behind.

Escape to Austin

Lily accepted me with open arms. We had a lot in common and were both going through some incredibly trying times. We were still coming into our own, with our transitions, and we were both dealing with relationship issues. The two huskies that stayed with were a big perk, however.

About a week later, Lily revealed her talent in doing tattoos. I asked her to draw me some and dictated a design for another. I loved two of them so much, I had her do them on me! One is on my right foot, the other on my left wrist. My foot has a butterfly on it and my wrist, a reminder to not end my own life.

A few weeks later there was turmoil with Lily’s boyfriend and myself. It began causing issues with their relationship and Lily’s and my friendship. I knew I had to go. I sent a text to Doe. I was coming back and he was enthusiastic…

Back in the Trap

Doe was very happy to have me back. For the first several weeks back, he stayed quiet about Trump. He showered me with things and was overall a changed man. Then, it started again. He would rant about Trump and how my being trans didn’t make me a “real” woman. My depression deepened again. I reached out to the community on Facebook.

Finding Satan

I was scrolling a Trans group on Facebook and came across a post from Sadie Satanas. I was intrigued and messaged her directly. To my surprise, she responded! She took the time to explain TST to me a bit and then sent me towards their website. I can never thank Her enough. I love you so much, Sadie!

I browsed TST’s website and I got excited the moment my eyes fell on their “Seven Fundamental Tenets”. I read them aloud and knew at that moment, I wanted to know it all. I needed to know more. I had believed in these Tenets all my life, but never seen them written before. I was home.

This new feeling of empowerment helped me be more outgoing. A lifelong atheist, Catie, took notice and reached out to me. When I finally responded, the feelings and moments that followed are indescribable.

The Soulmate

Catie is slightly older than me and about five inches shorter. She makes me laugh everyday. Our romance began in earnest when she came over for the first time to see me. I had another guest, but when they left, Catie and I hit it right off. We had both never felt this way in our lives. She wanted more for me. She wanted me away from Doe, and his abusive ways. So she invited me to leave him and come with her. I resisted at first. I was tired of running.

She came to see me, and I her several more times over a few months. Each time it was harder to say goodbye. Finally the time came when we couldn’t. We couldn’t say goodbye to each other any longer. I told Doe that it was over. I was done taking his abuse and that I was leaving. We gathered all my things and piled them into Catie’s Prius and took off towards Houston.

Catie had stayed in a studio apartment in downtown Houston, Texas at the time. It was a beautiful neighborhood and I will forever remember our time together there. Catie had two cats: Jordache and Patience, though they usually went by “Jordi” and “Boots”. We took to each other very quickly.

Caite and I got married on September 12th, 2019. I have never been happier in my entire life. Without Catie in my life, I do not know where I would be. Baby, if you are reading this, I love you!

With my move to Houston, I was able to become active with Houston TST. My first major event with them was Black Mass. It was held at a wonderful brewery in Houston, with great music and merchandise for a good cause. I remember being spanked with a Bible in front of about 60 Christian protestors. Good fuckin’ times.

Now that I was married to the love of my life, active in the Satanic community and afforded a lot of free time, I was ready to do some good! Do good, give back, anything to help this world be better.

I had finally embraced myself. I had become: Aria deSatanas!

The ride back east was fairly uneventful. I was driving towards hope and new beginnings. I was stoned the entire way, so I also don’t have much memory of the car ride itself. Maybe not the safest thing I have ever done.

Tennessee

When I first arrived in Tennessee, I moved in with an elderly veteran. I had been hired to help around the house and yard, and anything as needed. I had a small room and did my duties well.

I would have my phone out all the time, furiously texting Christy. We were in love, and it was time to tell her mother. Her mom was a powerful woman in her own, and I was extremely anxious. The talk went well and I was “accepted in” so to speak. Anytime I wasn’t needed by my charge, I would spend with Christy and her mom.

My client offered me a large bonus to help his family set up a homestead, off the grid, in a small hill country area. I accepted and we loaded up and headed out to the middle of nowhere. I was there for six weeks clearing trees and brush, digging trenches and foundations, and living life off the grid. I hated it.

After I was paid, I found another job. House Sitting. An older biker couple asked me to watch their place for 11 months. They would be there for a month at the start and end and I would offer landscaping help and such. It was my favorite job, ever.

The house itself was nestled on the side of a large lake. It had a dock with a pontoon boat, jetski and small fishing trawl. It was two sprawling stories, with a deck overlooking the backyard and lake. A hot tub sat on the deck, a grill opposite it. Inside it had a pool table, 72 inch TV, hardwood floors and more. It was grandiose.

After the owners left, Christy came and stayed with me and we took care of the house for 8 months together. It was fishing, drinking, smoking, and all kinds of fun. We even brought our kitty, Minnie Mouse. She enjoyed the time there, but tragically died giving birth the following year. I like to think she lived the best life possible at that lakehouse.

All good things must come to an end. The owners came home and I was out of a job as they no longer had the need for sitters. Using my GI Bill, I went back to school and lived off the allowance given, supporting myself and Christy for a few more months…

Coming Out

In getting comfortable with Christy, I revealed to her that I was different than most folks. I explained that my whole life I had been living in a shell. I was at the controls of the wrong body. I expressed to her that my love was genuine and unchanged, but that I could no longer live unless I changed. She was unsurprisingly, devastated. We did not make it more than a week before I was moving out.

Back in my Honda, all my things in the back, but this time I was headed south…

Alabama

I called Bree on the highway, leaving Tennessee. I told her that I had come out and had nowhere to go. She gave me her address and told me I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted to. Bree, my cousin, had never met me in person. When I got to her house, She came running out and hug-tackled me. The first question she asked me was, “So, what do I call you now?!?”. I cried in her arms right there in the yard. We went inside and got me all settled in.

I awoke the next morning to Mr. Pickles nosing about my face. He purred as I stirred and He accepted my cuddles for a time before leading me to his food dish. I got the idea. I fed the kitty and set about looking for places to stay. I had chosen one hell of a town to come out in. Montgomery, Alabama.

Over the next few weeks, I helped Bree by watching her son and keeping the house clean and stocked with food. I continued my schoolwork and started the process of getting my transition started with Veterans Affairs. Bree would help me with makeup and fashion tips in return. I found a place to stay and moved out a few weeks after my arrival.

I stayed at a house with five girls and a boy for several weeks. Three of the five girls did my makeup every other day. It was incredibly empowering, all these women around me treating me like one of the girls. I was finally there. They were all nice, and did their best to learn about gender and which pronouns to use with me.

To pay rent, I needed more than my GI bIll allowance. So, I decided I would kill two birds with one stone. For the first time, I would offer adult escort services as my true self. My very first client was a nightmare. I allowed myself to be tied up and assumed the safeword would be respected. It was not. I was beaten, raped and urinated on. Afterwards, he forced me into the car without my clothes and left me on my front lawn, naked. Not only violated, but robbed. All because I was a “dirty Tr***y who deserved this”.

I reached out for something positive. I looked to my parents and family. I came out to them and told them that I was a trans woman. They denied it and most of my family and friends that had found out, left my life. The majority have still not spoken to me since. I was falling into a dark depression very quickly.

I needed to get out of there. I had money saved, so I reached out to a friend and She was happy to have me come there. So back in the Honda I went. Everything I had left. Headed North.

Virginia

Michelle was a wonderful woman. She listened to my story and how I had come out “suddenly”. She affirmed many of my feelings and made me feel much better about myself. She was a card carrying member of the Church of Satan. We tried dating for a time but it did not work well. We did have some good times exploring the cemeteries in Virginia together however.

After things fell apart romantically, I moved into a room in an apartment with a couple as roommates. They were a nice young, “spiritual” couple. They were both CIS folks and new to the knowledge of trans people. They listened intently and acted on it! My birthday had come around and they baked a cake with my chosen name on it and then took me to get my ears pierced. They were very important to me at that time in my life.

After a few months, disaster struck. A fire had started in the apartment several rooms away and spread fast. We were evacuated out and watched as the building roared with flame. The flames were over 60 ft high at one point. We had been quick, and lucky, so most of our things were saved. Thus ended the stay with that couple.

Back in the Honda again. But where now?

Back to Texas…

There I was, back on the road again. Everything I owned in the backseat of the rental car. I made it in less than 2 days. North Carolina to Arizona was a seriously tough drive. I was high the whole way.

The Stay at Home

My parents welcomed me like a hero. They had banners and even threw me a party! It was like the past had no bearing. I was their Army child now. The “do-no-wrong” continued for several weeks, which reached new heights with them gifting me a Honda Accord.

I settled in and enrolled in college online with Colorado State University for sociology. With GI Bill money rolling in and college going well, I decided I wanted fun. I had been home 6 months before running into a long lost friend and almost lover.

The Long Lost Love

Rose was one of my first “dream girls”. I met her first in my math class, but only because she had come to work with her Dad, my teacher. We would send notes when she came in with her Dad and soon found ways to write and call each other.

Rose was and still is, a dancer and ballet teacher. Our first date was a traditional date, with her parents escorting us. Her mother promised to murder me if I ever hurt Rose. I was convinced.

Fast forward to six months after returning home and there she was again, at the same pool party as me. It was only a few weeks before we were living together. Love lost, love found.

We partied a lot together. I made many friends and had some great times with Rose. We talked about marriage but it would not happen. I found an apartment and moved out a few months later.

The Job

I had landed a really great job as night shift supervisor at a warehouse in Tempe, and it was consistently the best part of my life that year. I worked 2PM-12, four days a week. Six of those hours, I worked completely alone.

I smoked a lot of marijuana while I lived in Arizona. Weed was the only thing keeping my nerves still. It helped the pain, body and mind. I would take the forklift and raise myself 30ft in the air and sat on the bucket to burn a joint and jam out to my iPod.

For $22 an hour, it wasn’t a bad gig. With that income and my college, I stayed busy. I still found time to take on a familiar. Dexter was a seven and a half foot Columbian red tailed boa. (See picture). He was mild tempered and used to go on walks with me down Mill Ave. I miss him dearly.

I had made many friends and had a good job but I was lonely again. Out of the blue, I received a call from a crush in my army years. For the next few months we would stoke the fires with long calls and promises of change.

A Honda, everything I owned and the highway. This time, pointed East…

Afghanistan

It felt like an oven. The air was dry and unbearably hot. It had an Earthy taste. As I stepped off the back of the C-17, I had to turn with the wind, to spare my eyes more dust. I hated it already.

The first day was spent getting the lay of the airfield, my unit compound and the social area within the secure zone. I was assigned a room, which was just a plywood hut with a cot and window AC unit.

I was having a bad day by the time I made it to the DFAC (dining). I had arrived on a Friday, so it was “surf n’ turf” night. I had a steak, half a plate of shrimp and a lobster tail. Not bad for my first night in a hostile environment.

I settled down in my room after dinner and was just dozing off when the klaxon and sirens started wailing. I jumped up, gearing up with weapons and armor and was out the door with a minute – only to gather and get a headcount of the troops. We had been attacked by hostile mortar fire. No injuries, minimal damage.

This was my first day in Afghanistan.

Combat

Mortar and rocket fire continued regularly throughout my tour. On average, we would be attacked 5 times a week by random fire ranging from small arms to rockets.

One evening, while I was working security at the gate to our compound, a mortar struck 20 meters from my position. I hit the ground hard as the shockwave burst the glass behind me, sending a shard down into my leg. That… was a close one. The dental assistant ended up stiching me up.

Not all Bad

Our camp was highly secure. Being a Special Operations Task Force or SOTF, security played a huge part of EVERYONE’S day. It did have benefits, however. We had the best DFAC, Fitness facilities and Medical care.

We would also get special visits by celebrities. USO tours in 2007-08 were amazing. I watched Kid Rock perform and then Robin Williams did stand up. I shook his hand afterwards and he replied to each person “Thank you, you’re a bad ass!”.

Other visits included Toby Keith (had a beer with him), David Blaine (His magic trick still has me guessing) and Jon Stewart (We spoke about scorpions, the desert, women and the Afghan people).

The most notable “celebrity” meeting for me in Afghanistan however, was from a different military. Prince Harry had been coming through and we all had a chance to shake his hand.

The first trip to Afghanistan was a dynamic one for me. It had some very hard times, but also many joyous moments. Loading up into the plane home was still a major relief. I knew I would be home soon.

Back Home

Leigh was waiting for me at the hangar when I got home. It was an emotional reunion. We quickly started making up for lost time. Within a month, Leigh was pregnant.

Leigh went into labor on Valentine’s Day at 3 am. Krash was born 28 hours later. That experience was scarier than any moment in Afghanistan. We made it home 6 weeks later and I was on my way to Fort Knox for pre-mission training.

Fort Knox was a different kind of training for me. I would be learning a brand new system, outside my core MOS. I was excited and anxious. The vetting process was in depth. They even contacted my friends and family. Five weeks later, I was back on the plane.

Afghanistan, Again

This time, I was based out of a larger secure position. My tasks however, would have me flying to multiple forward positions, regularly. One such FOB, had only 2 rolls of razor wire keeping the hostile forces out. Those were some sleepless nights when I stayed there.

Just as my first trip, rocket and mortar attacks were routine. In the time I spent in Afghanistan, 5 people I knew personally, were killed in action. Many more humans were killed directly or indirectly because of my actions, all while following orders.

The Extension

When you sign a contract with the government, for military service, you can pick for how long. My original contract was 5 years, plus training. The end would have fallen halfway through a deployment. So, for a small bonus, I signed a year long extension. I owed one more year.

By the time I made it home, six months later, Leigh and I had grown apart. We tried for a time, but things were not going to work. We decided to go to court and get a divorce. It was long, and fairly ugly. In the end, we did what was best for Krash.

All in all, my time in the military is one I remember with pride or at least without guilt. There are a handful of moments I wish I could change, and even more moments I wish that I could take back. I received my honorable discharge in 2012, a decorated combat veteran.

I would never wear a uniform again. With no home to return to, I decided to head west. West to my parents, west to the valley…

The valley…

With money running low and our stay being ever more burdensome on Lynn’s father, I set off to Fort Jackson, SC. I would do what my parents wanted from the start. I would become a military man.

Basic Training

The intake was fairly neutral. Medical tests and some shots. Long lines formed to gather equipment and assignments. Finally, we were loaded onto buses towards our training units. I was ordered to keep my head down and be silent. I complied. Those who didn’t caught hell from the Drill Sergeants.

Right off the bus they were yelling at us. Simple, loud commands. I followed each with candor and precision. I knew full well how to act. My six years of military school were about to come in handy. Sure enough, I got the question “Who knows how to handle a guidon?” My hand shot up and I ran up and took the flag and showed my skill with it and was assigned to be it’s bearer.

Being out front allowed me to set the pace for the group, that way I would never be too tired or fall back from the group. I do love a good trick. The days were long, the training tedious. But the weekends held some respite. On sundays, we were allowed an hour for church and an hour after for prayer. Unless you were Mormon. Mormons were allotted two hours for church and one for prayer.

Naturally, I was a Mormon during basic training. One of my new friends, Katie also became a mormon for basic training. Several of the times we were at church, we would sneak to the shed out back, and we would take turns kneeling… Basic training had some ups and downs.

Running. Everything involved running. If we were outside, we ran. Marching drills were easy for me, thanks to my training in school and many times, I would get a break because of it. The break that was to be remembered however, would come in Combatives week.

Near the end of CQC week, the Drill Sergeant asked me up front to help demonstrate a new hold. He instructed me to tap out when the pain was too intense. I did not tap out. My shoulder gave out before I did. He had torn my rotator cuff, one week before the end of basic training. If i could not complete the final week, I would be forced to start it all over. I asked the doc for pain killers.

The final week of Basic training was absolutely the worst week of my life thus far. It rained everyday, and we were out in it, 6 of the 7 days. I was high on painkillers, with a sixty pound rucksack on my back, my arm in a sling. After the training, we had a final PT test (Physical Skill assessment). On the march out to the field where it was to be hosted, I lost my card several times because I was so messed up on my painkillers. The drill instructors found it amusing, lucky for me. I did over 70 pushups in under two minutes with a torn rotator cuff.

I was sore for the next 2 months… all spent as a “Hold Under”.

Advanced Individual Training

After Basic training, new soldiers are sent to Advanced Individual Training based upon their chosen assignment in the military. I had chosen Logistics. It was an overcrowded job and therefore I would have to wait for training. The wait was 83 days.

So, here I was, a new soldier fresh out of basic, on a new army base in Virginia. I had nothing to do but morning PT and to go bowling, to the movies and “make new friends”. All my new friends were ladies.

By the time training rolled around, I had made a name for myself around the place and really enjoyed my time there. I had many “partners” and learned quite a bit about logistics and military life. While there, a recruiter from “Airborne school” came and told us we could get paid extra to jump out of planes. I considered it.

Midway through training we had Christmas vacation. Instead of heading home to see Lynn and the kids, I went to New York City with a group of army buddies. Our marriage was rocky with my absence and I wanted a break from the stress of work and home. NYC was absolutely fun. I got my first tattoo in a small shop in Manhattan. I had sex on liberty island and a few subways. It is a treasured time for me.

Upon my return to training, I received a legal notice from my wife. She was filing for divorce. I read everything over and signed the papers. The divorce was finalized before I finished my training. Lynn and I are still friends, but I am not an active parent in my son’s life.

WIthout anything holding me back now, I went wild. I decided I was going all in. Airborne school would be my next challenge. I don’t need anybody or anyone. Maybe the parachute wouldn’t open…

Airborne School

Running. It’s a theme for the Army I think. Every moment from waking to sleeping is spent running in Airborne school. I would run to a training field, so we could do sprints, and then run back from the field, so we could do a ruck run. It was tiresome and irritating. It was also in Fort Benning, GA, in JULY.

It was so hot that they didn’t even bother having A/C in the barracks were we slept. I was wet the entire time I was there. We had formations twice a day for MANDATORY hydration. They would pass around electrolyte packets that tasted like actual chalk, and make us drink it with an entire 32 ounce canteen. Airborne upped my chugging game.

Jump week was exhilarating. We woke up early and strapped into harnesses and ran, or wobbled, to the aircraft hangar. We would sit in that hangar for 5 hours. It was 95 degrees and we had full fatigues, with helmet and rigged up. When we finally loaded onto the planes it was almost shocking the drop in temperature as the plane lifted us into the air.

Nothing. For just a few seconds, I was floating. As the the parachute jerked me from the trance, I got it all straightened and myself on path to the dropzone. I remember it being so quiet. Just falling through the air gently, silently. It was magnificent, right up to the point I had to land. It didn’t exactly hurt the first few times, but it was scary as hell.

After 4 jumps, and a fifth at night, I was through Airborne and all my initial military training. I was a soldier now. An Airborne soldier, headed to Fort Bragg…

3rd Special Forces Group (Airborne)

When I arrived at Fort Bragg, I was taken aback at how different it was than a training post. The Special Forces unit I was assigned to would be my unit for the next 5 years. The first day I walked in the door, I was greeted by my superior, He was not in uniform and asked my first name. None of this felt like military.

The unit was relaxed at home because when in combat or training, we would go all in. I was sent to XXXXXXXXX training and XXXXXXXXX training to prepare me for the upcoming missions, sort of a crash course to get me up to speed. During this time, I was able to stay on or off post. I had a few friends in the area so I stayed with them.

Three months later, I was married, again. Leigh was a soldier as well and she did not have any kids. We were friends prior to Bragg, but had not interacted a whole lot. We hit it off and my parents attend this wedding. It was extravagant and all my family came to it. They wanted to see their soldier marry the pretty preacher’s daughter.

A month after getting married, I was sent to XXXXX for a month of Pre-Mission Training. I had a lot of fun and learned more in that month about combat than I had in my entire life. I made many friends and even received a promotion and an award for helping balance the unit’s books. We were preparing ourselves for deployment. Two weeks after PMT, I was saying goodbye to my wife again.

This time it would be for 8 months.

After the Wedding

Being banished and shunned is a very disheartening status. Family suddenly acts like the enemy and will even actively try to stop you from climbing back up. I reached out to my parents again, telling them we had no place to turn. Nothing they can do… I had made my choice.

We ended up on the couch, and eventually tent, of Lynn’s uncle. Lynn is several months along and Dawn, almost 4. The uncle was a strange individual, but mostly, just a drunk. One night he got too drunk and expressed his feelings of lust for Lynn and Dawn. We escaped in the night to a hotel for two nights.

On the day we had to check out of the hotel, I called my parents a final time. They lectured us both for over an hour including several prayers. They eventually gave us a number to a shelter owned by some friends of friends. We get there later that day and right out front, a large neon blue sign “GODTEL”.

Godtel was a ministry run shelter for families and women. Lynn was able to stay with the other women and children, but I had to go to work. I ended up with two jobs. One as a baker and the other as a shoe salesman at Sears.

For several months, as we prepared for our baby to be born, I was working 18 hours days and living in a shelter. 10% of what I made would go to the shelter off the top. My supervisor at Sears knew my situation and suggested I “look into State jobs. The government has good insurance for your kid and wife”.

TDCJ

Working in corrections was an unforgettable experience. It shattered many of my preconceptions of prison life, while also cementing others. I was hired on as a Correctional Officer after a 5-week training course. On the sixth week, I was inside a prison with three-thousand offenders.

The unit was mainly made up off non-violent criminals or lowered danger rating offenders. I always looked forward to working the protective security wing, I learned so much from some of the queens there. I witnessed fights, attempted rape, riots and death within the first year as a prison guard.

By this time, we had the money to get out of the shelter so we rented a small trailer and got the hell out. Shortly after, Lukas came into our lives. He looked just like me and was strong and healthy. I was so proud and overjoyed. I was a parent.

My parents finally came around when they received pictures of their grandchild. They flew out to visit us. They stayed for several weeks and before they left, we had a new home. My parents had cosigned a mortgage as a wedding and first baby present. Things were looking up.

The Unethical Past

Lynn and I grew apart within several months of moving into the new place. I was always at work and she would go into town and wander or be stuck home with the kids. I would make excuses not to come home, and go out with friends. She would have girls night, but be elsewhere. We both would catch each other in lies and finally openly cheated on each other.

I continued my work and ended up moving out for a time. I moved in with a girl I had met while out with friends from work. We talked of divorce and further plans and exploring different things. One of these nights was my first real threesome. At this point, Amy and I were “dating”.

She had her friend over and they ended up in the bed together, naked. I was invited in to watch and eventually join in and I had no complaints. It was awkward but also fun. Right up until Britney stopped riding me and looked Amy dead in the face and said “Is it fucked up that I can ride your partner longer than you?” with a snort. Things did not stay peaceful. Amy chased both Britney and myself out of her house with a knife.

Oops.

Be all that you can be…

At this point I knew I needed some grounding. I returned to my wife and we discussed the possibility of trying to work things out. We decided to leave the state and head for her father’s land, in Arkansas. So, off we went, Lynn, Dawn, Lukas and myself, a small Hnoda and everything we could fit.

We were in Arkansas for several months before I found a new job. This job required a lot of processing and exercise but Lynn told me it would be easy for me. She also convinced me it was my decision, not my parents.

Next stop, Basic Trainng.